I'm so sorry to hear about your cat and can relate to what you are going through - both personally and as a mom. My daughter was 3 years old when our dog was diagnosed with kidney failure. Thinking time was limited we also started to prepare our daughter for the eventual loss of our beloved pet. I blogged about the experience on our Mom to Mom blog - A lesson from an old dog. As it turned out, he improved and lived another year and a half before we made the tough decision to ease his pain.
On the day we were to bring him to the vet, I had to use judgment about if and what to tell our daughter. Ultimately, I decided that, for her, it was going to be important that she knew. So I told our daughter that Winston was going to the vet because he was very sick and that he might not be coming home if the doctor thought he was too sick. I was happy that I did because she got to give him a hug one last time. Also, it helped to start the grief process for me and her.
That night and many months following we had a lot of conversations about death and heaven and life. We talked about how Winston was with her 2 grandfathers playing fetch every day (his favorite activity). When she said she missed him (often - and even a year later she still says it) we talked about how he is in our heart and will always be there. We named a star after him. My mom bought her a locket and put a picture of Winston in it for her to wear close to her heart. Just this past Christmas (over 6 months later) we gave her a framed photo of her with Winston for her room.
What I learned with children is that grief is a long process as they learn more about the world. And, in a way, I'm glad that it is because it gives me the chance to also grieve out loud and share my happy memories of Winston with her. Hang in there.
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