Kindergarten & School Age

[ToyaC333]

My son is in kindergarten and has recently been complaining to me about another child who sounds like a bit of a bully. This other child has been telling my son (and other kids) that they cannot play with him and a certain group of other children during recess. My son also says that this child has been calling kids names. I asked my son if he talked to his teacher about this, but he tells me he doesn't want to.

Should I bring this up to the teacher right away? Am I over-reacting and should I give the situation some time? How early does bullying start...I thought I had a few more years before having to worry about this!

[Colleen2878]

I would definitely talk to your son's teacher if you are concerned. I'm sure if he/she's not aware, they'll want to be! And if they are aware, perhaps they can calm your worries a bit by letting you know how the situation is being handled. That will help you in talking to your child about the situation.

[Ruth]

First of all...you should feel really great that your son is able to talk to you about this.  You have done a fantastic job opening the lines of communication and you will value this forever.  I'd keep talking to my son about what happens on the playground and help him role play some responses.  I think I'd also role play how he could talk to the teacher or the person that is in charge of the playgound.  It may feel safer for him and his friends to play physically close to the adult that is on the playground.  Keep your eye on the situation and you'll know when it's time to talk to the teacher.  Your son is lucky to have you as a parent!

[Amanda P]

How is your son doing with the new school year? Sadly, bullying is a challenge even in the younger grades. I teach pre-k and I see some at this age level. I think part of it is children trying to identify themselves in their new settings while still developing social skills. For anyone who is dealing with bullies at this young age, I would definitely keep in communication with the teacher. I also think that it is important to teach your child how to stick up for himself. In my classroom, when a child is teasing another child, I encourage the child to respond with a statement that emphasizes something positive about themselves. For example, if a child is being teased because he does not run fast, he can respond with, "I am really good at building ships". I also tell my children to make choices to play with someone who is being a good friend.

[ToyaC333]

He's doing really well this year! I havne't heard anything about other kids being mean, but it's definitely something that's on my radar to listen for now. I was just so taken off guard when the idea of bullying came up in Kindergarten - I thought we'd have a few years before that came up! It seems hard to think of any 5 year old as a "bully." Thanks for your great ideas. Of course I hope for this not to come up again, but your tips are awesome to keep in mind if it does.